Food and Drink

The Modern Drinker: Infuse This

July 15, 2015

the modern drinkerWhat has happened to drinking? What was once an easy choice—do you want ice or water with your Scotch—has now become an exercise in culinary science.

Infuse This
If you want to infuse my liquor with something, how about: Aleve, Advil, or just plain Aspirin? That way I’ll have one less thing to worry about tomorrow as I’m fighting my hangover. Most of the time mine is already infused with guilt so do I really need apricots or raspberries in my Vodka?

Who Are These People
This probably came from the same folks who brought us Tofu and Kale. As far as food goes: these people wouldn’t know a good Hamburger Helper dish if it smacked them in the gut. Now they’ve decided to mess with our liquor as well. A quick search on the internet tells you how to infuse your own liquor. This is for those of you who don’t have one of those new “Boutique” liquor stores nearby where you can just buy a bottle of Tofu-Kale Tequila.

Choose to Infuse
To infuse your own liquor, the websites explain you first must choose which liquor you wish to infuse. After choosing your liquor, usually Vodka but you are welcome to ruin some good Rum or Tequila too, you should choose your produce for infusing. I thought my Vodka was already infused with potatoes but I guess potatoes aren’t a fruit. My other favorite drink was already infused with hops and barley and now look what they’ve done to that. Have you ever craved an Apricot flavored beer? Me neither.

Go Organic or Go Home
You can’t just run to the grocery store according to some of these sites. You must use locally sourced, organic produce or you run the risk of being politically incorrect. Go to the Farmers Market, or if you must you can go to Sprouts or Whole Foods, but make sure your fruit is organic and expensive (kind of redundant there).

Clean it Up
First you remove the seeds and stems (which sounds very similar to another product we’re familiar with here in Colorado) then you cut the pulp into tiny pieces. Pour the liquor and fruit into a clean mason jar because I guess using a dirty one would make it moonshine. You then store it in the fridge for a couple or three weeks before sharing it with your snooty neighbors. Oh yeah, you’re supposed to strain out the fruit and pour the infused liquor into a clean, re-sealable glass jar or bottle. These folks are big on clean. They don’t mention what to do with the fruit you strained out but I’m thinking it would work great in my Cheerios tomorrow morning.

Pair it Well
Now they recommend you use this fruity concoction in your favorite cocktails. They say the mango tequila in a margarita is to die for. I’m not sure why it’s any different than the mango flavored margarita mix you can buy at that boutique liquor store but then again, I still think shooting tequila with lime and salt is like using training wheels. I bet that plum/apricot infused Vodka they rave about would sit well with my favorite Hamburger Helper dish.



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